space in seasons

Noon class on a Saturday just makes the day all the more beautiful. Despite the getting up at 5 a.m. to feed my precious adorable and routine-oriented dogs (who are that way because of my training lol), I woke up around 9 a.m. with a feeling of rest and accomplishment. Today is day eight of 100. I had completed one full week of this 100 day project, and it feels good.

When you create opportunity for yourself to grow and feel challenged, it is quite easy to disappoint yourself because there is no intrinsic factor. If you don't succeed, you can start over, adjust the expectation in reaction, make excuses paired with selfish justifications that are just hypocritical reasons you tell yourself. Harsh, I know, but it's how I feel. It's why I don't often set goals; goals require accountability, and that scares a lot of people, me included. I never set New Year's resolutions. My brain literally does not understand how the calendar shift represents a promise we make. It is pointless.

So here I am, mid-spring, with 92 days left and I can already see a shift. What if I had convinced myself to wait until January 1st? That's a terrifying thought. All this time that could have been just a delay of a positive transformation. I know I, I know, kind of gloomy here, but the circumference of emotions is what life is made up of. It is my job to actively manage the balance between them. Don't confuse balance for perfection. Each day brings new things, and perfect portioned emotions are impossible and unnecessary. Instead of projecting a facade, we should seek balance for the context and by doing so will create a domino effect of the curiosity and desire of living. Truly living.

100 days is less than 1/3 of an entire year. Depending on your perspective and motivation, that number can appear quite daunting or achievable. Today, day 8, the number 100 is irrelevant because today I felt the growth. Small, but signification growth.

I'm not going to disappoint myself, and when you understand the value of supporting yourself so you can encourage and inspire others, change is inevitable in all the ways that make you run straight for it without looking back. And that is invigorating. That is living.