flexibility in routine

The myth about routines and people that like them is that they enjoy being controlled or worse enjoy controlling things, people or situations. It seems obvious to the surface level analysis: routine = control. But the truth of the matter is that the love of routine is much more complex than the basic algebraic formula. It is not an "x=y" concept. No. not when used for the intrinsic value. 

Today was Mother's Day, so I of course spent time with the most amazing woman on the planet. And it was Sunday, which slightly frustrates me about the yoga class schedule as the two morning classes clash with my church service. I excidedly took my mom to Painting with a Twist where we partner painted a gorgeous painting of flowers in teal jars. 

I later felt frustrated and out of control with several outlying factors in my life. A couple of quiet tears, productive packaging, and discussion with my mom later we acknowledged the distress of the current context in my life. 

I'm on week 3 of this 100 day project, and today is the first day I was unable to make it to the tranquil yoga studio that has been offering me asylum every single day no matter the obstacles, enemy attacks, or disruptions. But today, a day that I that I thoroughly enjoyed sacrificing the afternoon yoga class was my biggest challenge yet in this project. Not necessarily because I couldn't go, but because everything else that has swirled around me this past week and the anticipation of the week to come I needed that mental break, that safety, that peace. 

I had to create it myself. I didn't know if I would have the ability, the energy, the focus. All the doubt that was seeping into my mind was adding to my tension. I knew I had to complete a yoga routine, but not because of this 100 day project. Because I had created this routine that my body, spirit and soul is reliant upon and without felt a sense of unease. 

Yes, I am living in the 100 day project which provides me with a loose structure. It is not about control. It is about formatting an environment for yourself to foster and to fight back the enemies of others and yourself.