flow of forgiveness

I met with a dear friend this morning in an effort to mend our relationship. The hum of our emotional discussion overflowed off the table that housed our eggs, fruit, and coffee and onto the floor. We weren't shy about it. We weren't making a scene. But we were experiencing rocky waters. 

All relationships experience rough times. We realized we had never worked through a tough time together. We had experienced great losses in our lives, but we never had to work through them together. 

Tough topics were brought up and hashed through. At one point he almost walked out, but we persevered and found a way to calm the waters of our friendship. 

The Saturday Hatha yoga class that followed comforted my body and spirit inside and out. The spunky instructor uses the flow concept of yoga that allows for the body to almost shift into a cruise control of sorts. In the awareness of a next move, you are able to focus on your breath, the noise of the inhale and exhale, the tightening of your abdomen, and the strength of your heart opening. 

Sometimes you can feel yourself moving like water. Fluid. 

Other times you can feel yourself crashing like water.

Violent. 

You reach out, recede back, and repeat. The cycle is never ending. Your momentum can build so big that you lose control and slam into the obstacle in front of you instead of slipping around it. 

Forgiveness is like the waves of the ocean. Water seeking a sense of flow trying to find a place of calmness, of peace, of certainty. People desire a step by step process to forgiveness. A linear check list. It doesn't have to be one. It isn't a thing you can resolve and box up neatly to place on a shelf and never think about the circumstances again. No, I'm not meaning forgive but don't forget. You forgive, and in that action it becomes a part of you. It changes your flow, as all experiences do.