lesson of playfulness

I drove to yoga class today very tense for no reason whatsoever. No specific catalyst for my frustration. Nothing dramatically wrong in my life. Quite a lot going right. 

Yet, I was annoyed with the drivers on the road and lack of good music on the radio. First in the studio for the 6 o'clock Vinyasa class with the Tinkerbell instructor, I set up next to the prop wall and laid down grounding the soles of my feet into the mat. 

"I do not want to be here," was all that was on my mind. I had let some negative mood takeover my whole being. I love yoga, and I love how I feel afterward. That energetic buzzing feeling. I took some deep breaths with my eyes softly closed and did my best to brush off this negative attitude.

Once class shifted into high gear and we were moving in a steady flow, the remainder of my negativity had fallen off. The Tinkerbell instructor had reset my thought process at the beginning of class by presenting the mindset of playfulness, that yoga does not always need to be a serious time, that yes there are times when it is, but that today we were going to open up to a more playful attitude and have fun with our practice. 

Vinyasa is not a slow motion class. Each breath requires a movement, each inhale and each exhale. There is no time for negative thoughts because the only thoughts are focused on each pose. The best thing about her classes is her openness and excited reaction to questions. She, without knowing, shattered my insecurities about being in such an active class and my negative mood.

We sometimes need people to work us out of our darkness. And we don't always know how to ask for help, or want to admit when we are being pessimistic for no reason because it feels silly, selfish, and pointless. Without my routine of yoga each day, I may still be in that funk.

There is a difference in using a routine to exert control and using a routine to provide balance. I am thankful my journey led me back to 3 Tree this afternoon so that the flow could provide me stability, flexibility, and challenge. Your journey must be designed to offer you support even when you don't want it.