surrender and live

Tonight's late night yoga sesh was a wind-down session to release tension from the day and just center oneself into calmness before bed. The YouTube Yoga lady spoke about just letting the day go and surrendering to what your body wants through the restorative poses.

There is a difference in surrendering to a feeling that is placed within you or a feeling your body is communicating to you and just giving in, letting go, throwing your hands up at life and saying I give into you and you will resolve my problems. Or in yoga terms, you won't reap any benefits if you just surrender to the pose; you may not stretch the muscles at all or worse you may overstretch and injure yourself.

Lately I have experienced a lot of moments where I surrender. A few where I have been stubborn. And as I reflect on them I realize that I do not feel resolve from the ones I was stubborn. I wonder if I had surrendered had the outcome been totally different, would it have given me a different perspective and maybe the other party involved. I'll never know, but I was blessed today with an opportunity that I did surrender to without overthinking it or being afraid.

I just acted.

At church that sits on the access road right off 20 in Arlington, we were staying after the service for a documentary and panel discussion over the topic of our congregation becoming an official open and affirming church (which is the goal of the church). My family was not aware that this activity would be occurring afterwards, yet we looked at each other and said "yeah we want to stay", so we made ourselves each a plate of a sandwich, chips, and water and sat together. We said grace and began eating.

Halfway through my sandwich I remembered I had brought my mom the books my boyfriend and I had found for her yesterday and asked if she wanted me to get them for her from my car. "Yes! That would be nice," she replies. So up I go out to my car, grab the books and as I am walking back toward the church building I see a man up on the interstate walking. He's got one big backpack and another bag he is placing recyclable material into as he walks.

I stop. Something told me to go to him. So books in hand, I walk to the edge of the parking lot.

"HEY!" I yell. But the traffic on the interstate and the access road drowns out my voice. He's still walking.

"HEYYYY!" I yell as loud as I can. Nothing. He's almost going to get out of my sight. I quickly move down the small incline to the edge of the service road as he has paused to pick something up.

"HEYYYYYY!" He turns toward me. I wave. He waves. I motion him to come down to me. He sets his bag down and begins the journey down the hill and across the service road.

As he crosses over, I realize I am not sure what to say exactly, but I just say hi.

"Let's get some shade shall we?" he asks.

"Sure," I reply. We step under the trees on our church property. I introduce myself, he introduces himself, and I extend to shake his hand. It was as if he was not expecting the respect of being a human; furthermore, the respect of being a fellow child of God.

I explained that the church was having an informal luncheon and we have plenty of food that I could bring him a plate if he'd like. He explained that he hadn't eaten yet today (at noon), but that he really would just like some water.

I came back with a plate of food and a big cup of ice water. He was more than thankful. He was shocked. I then took his two empty bottles (he tries to carry four water bottles at all times in this heat) and filled those up plus gave him a fifth one that was ice cold. He called me an angel and a blessing. I thanked him for allowing me to serve him, told him it was nice to meet him and that he was always welcome here.

I knew that I had been moved to go out to the car in that moment. I didn't know why. Heck, my parents and I share my rental house so why did I need to bring her the books in at that time? Because God knew that I needed to go outside to be a servant to that man, Mark. If I hadn't gotten up at that exact moment, I would have probably never seen Mark. He would have kept walking down interstate 20.

I was flooded with joy at that opportunity. I am more and more aware in the ways God is moving in my life leading me to different and new ways to be a disciple for his love. Surrendering is about intentionality.