dealing with tomorrow

The road trip home could not have been more perfect. The weekend run down to San Antonio was exactly what I needed and what the boyfriend needed. A change of scenery is quite powerful. Even when it is familiar scenery.

All morning the day felt like a Sunday. I even posted on my beauty group page "Happy Sunday" and until I saw someone else on my newsfeed post something about it being a Monday, I was convinced the day was Sunday. Summer vacation will do that to you. But more than that, being with a person who causes you to transport to another world will make you lose track of the real worlds calendar. Which is not necessarily a bad thing when you are two teachers.

Journeying home we stopped to explore a Half Price in Austin with a pretty stacked collection from students at UT. I found probably 6 theology-Christian Literature books that I am thrilled to have found, four from a favorite author Anne Lamott, and then he helped me find some new poets to expand my wheelhouse and I found another Christian-lit book that a friend of mine had posted about earlier in the week. Don't worry, he snuck out of there with a stack himself.

While in the car, he listened to his philosophy podcasts and I colored in my adult faith coloring book, worked on my beauty biz, and read the earliest of Lamott's books. We chatted in between randomly. The car was its own world and we were the inhabitants. It was that way all weekend. Everything and everyone around us were characters entering and leaving our world. We welcomed them, but only with the knowledge of the eventual departure. Not in a negative way. We have just grown into inhabitants of our own civilization.

So, when he dropped me off at my house, greeted by my parents, puppies, and a brownie from my step-dad, then a few kisses goodbye from me with the promise of FaceTime later our world began to stretch again. Obviously we don't live together and that is perfectly fine and healthy for where we are in our relationship, but it's odd when you have to shift back into a world with many other characters after focusing on your lead male role. (is this a corny metaphor? oh well)

During my restorative yoga sesh thanks to Adrienne on YouTube, she spoke the words "release the anxiousness of the future". I was feeling very anxious about some things this upcoming week. A long to-do lists, a few specific tasks, interactions with people, etc. But the act of breathing, moving with my bodies needs, and releasing that tension that I was building up within myself felt exhilarating.

Building a world with someone is beautiful and emotional. However, the world within yourself needs constant tending, fostering, tilling, and cultivating in order for the worlds you extend to others to be stable and full of positive potential.