suddenly there you are

The thing about summer is you almost never know what day it is - except Sundays because...well obviously church. After babysitting my nephews yesterday with my madre and the storm of my father, I slept hard last night and into late this morning.

A hot ass summer day meant limiting outdoor activities. My mom and I did a small Wal-Mart run then Norah and I journeyed to Half Price Books to pick up some items for a care package I'm putting together. There is more room in my life now than ever before, and God is filling every part with opportunities to serve Him through service of others. At Wal-mart, my mom got a little overheated and needed to sit down, so I took the cart to the register to check out. I walked over to her on a bench and she motioned for me to sit down with her. Confused, I obliged. She motioned to a couple standing several feet away in a private deep conversation appearing concerned.

"How do you feel about giving them money? I think they are in a bad situation, they just got medicine but seem concerned about finances," she spoke softly to me.

"Okay, what do I say?"

"Just tell them that we have some extra money right now and when we are blessed we are a family that shares." As she explained this, the couple began to leave. I took the $20 bill from my mother and approached the couple.

"Hi," I said.

"My mother and I would like to share some money with you if that would be okay. We have some extra cash right now and when that's the case we like to share what we can," I said to the man as the woman appeared to be older and not as coherent. The man was humbly thankful as I handed him the $20 bill and began to tell me what a blessing I am, an angel sent from God, that I am blessed by God and the Holy Spirit, that it is obvious to him I am an angel as they are struggling with his illness and inability to work while trying to afford medicine. He thanked me and my mother again and told me that God would bless me. I sat down and smiled at my mother as I shared his words with her.

I realized that there was a small moment of doubt in my head when she first asked me to give money to the couple. What if they are offended? What if they get upset with me? What if they cuss me out? But these were just insecurities that can weight us down as children of God. It isn't about me. This moment was designed by God to place my mom and I there and move her to share what we have. Who I am to stand in the way? No one. In fact, I am a vessel for God. And when I am in regular communication with God, working diligently on my relationship with my heavenly Father, practicing my emotional and spiritual balance and openness, I can be moved by God in small every day moments.

Deep Stretch yoga was full tonight led by the sunshine instructor who speaks gently and guides fluidly. We were in a strong focus tonight on our legs and squaring our hips forward through various lunge poses, hamstrings and quad stretches, and using our breath to sink our hips lower and lower in the poses.

As we near the end of class, she suggests we place a bolster on top of the blanket that is already set up to be underneath our knee (it has been acting as nice cushion for our knees through the lower lunges). The next thing I know, we are shifting into a forward splits over the blanket/bolster combination. She snuck it in, or tried to! I have never done the splits. Ever. When I was in high school in basketball I couldn't even touch my toes. Obviously I have come a long way, but never imagined attempting the splits. I didn't nail it by any means, but I held the pose and pushed my body to the edge while maintaining my breathing.

The thing is, I was not totally caught off-guard by suddenly finding myself in the middle of a splits because I have routinely followed instructions of my yoga teachers without question as I trust their leadership, knowledge, and guidance. I am comfortable with their challenges and my body has been practicing these types of poses or warm-ups to these poses for almost 90 days. The studio, the environment in which I surround myself with others who are seeking growth in the same way I am, is a world that throws me into new experiences but promises to protect me.

Similarly, my faith walk with God is more and more moment to moment where I am experiencing his love and whisper to move for him daily. It's not a far off goal to serve him; it is now and he calls me suddenly and I must go, I must have faith in the path he leads me down. And I do. Embracing the not-knowing is just as important as what you know.