releasing insecurities

During my restorative practice tonight, we shifted into a pose where we bow our chin down to our chest and the instructor described imagining all the worries and doubts for tomorrow pouring out from the top of your head.

I admit to bottling up some of my insecurities lately. Not intentionally. They just seem to sneak up on me and before I know it I feel overwhelmed and out of control because some of them include things I cannot control. Additionally, these things that are bottling up inside of me are both good and bad.

As I bowed my head tonight during my session, I felt God enter my heart and touch me in a way that reminded me He is in control. And in that moment I let the insecurities flow out from me. I released them all to God. He is my father and my savior, my protector and my guide, and He has a plan for me. I don't need to understand each step or see an outline. I can feel Him working in my life and I must continue forward without hesitation, without the roadblocks of insecurities.

Shit sucks sometimes. My biological father has refuses a relationship with me for over three years now throwing a fit like a 5 year old because I left his birthday party early. The first publication I shared my sermon sketch devotional idea with passed on the idea. I wrote in the wrong week on my agenda and had to white out like 5 pages worth. Among other things.

However, the way that I react and handle situations that suck is what ultimately defines who I am and the life I lead.

So, I give it to God. Because He is bigger, mightier, and really the one in charge. I follow His plan and I trust that the path ahead will continue to lead me in the right direction as I focus on serving Him to the best of my ability.